you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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