you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
