hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
