I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The air was thick with penises
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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