It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
