he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
