I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
