It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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