the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
