The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize