i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
