i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
