if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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