drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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