Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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