C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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