Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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