and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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