i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize