dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Drunk is not a location!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
