You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
