I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
