You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
