Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize