If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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