Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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