he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
