So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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