it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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