Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
