Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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