how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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