Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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