Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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