Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
