So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
