C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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