the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
