Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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