He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize