i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
