glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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