is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
