you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
