I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
