i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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