You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
