i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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