I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
4 words: hood of his car
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
