she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
