Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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