I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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