White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
