i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
