well you can't waste a boner
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
