two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Randomize
