to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
