I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
