Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
