just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
