I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Randomize
