my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
