Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize